Sunday, November 27, 2016

Years Later

Me at a coffeeshop, coffee in hand and words in my mind.  This feels familiar--I was here, at a previous time and a different space.  And in a lot of ways, I am different too.  Older, definitely.  Wiser? I would like to think so.  I read through my previous posts and realize how sad I was, how desolate.  I was drowning and did not seem to know it.  Or maybe I did know, and I was treading memories to keep afloat. To not sink into them when they were so strong.

I am better now.  My heart is full and on most days, bursting.  I have lesser voices in my head, reminding me of long lost love.  The universe still pokes me from time to time.  And some skeletons of the past refuse to remain buried.  They give me phone calls every now and then.  A text message, or a post showing up on my wall that takes me years back.  But they do not faze me as much.  Or if they do, I have learned to quickly get myself back.  I am better now.   And in saying so, I realize I really am.