Where you used to be, there are shadows. Of the person that I knew. Of the man that I fell in love with. Where you used to be, there is silence. And I miss hearing the inflections in your voice as you talk to me. Perhaps I imagined it all? perhaps the reason why I expect too much is because I saw too much...want too much? From you. But I am bleeding dry now. From inside out. I am losing the feelings either you or I have built in our time. I've been trying to tell you. I think I've been shouting out my pain. But you don't listen, are not listening. And you look at me like I have slowly lost my mind. When did you stop looking at me like you used to? When did I notice the change? Or perhaps this was all it had ever been and I just saw too much, expected too much, wanted too much.
I am bleeding dry now.
And running so close to empty.
And I can hear your answers in your silence.
I feel sad listening to the tinkling of the broken pieces inside you as you speak. I can tell, I hear the same sound inside of me sometimes. Perhaps mine have dulled or I've gotten so used to the sound in me that it fails to resonate now. Perhaps. Or I have simply forgotten. But there's that sound again, in you. And I understand how painful the edges must be of the jagged parts that you are hiding. Perhaps I am the only person who will ever know what it's like. The only one who can understand the need to move despite how each painful step jars those broken pieces time and again. I hear you. And I feel sad listening to the tinkling of the broken pieces as you speak. Let's sit in our silence for a moment. We don't need the words really. I hear you.
There will be times in our lives when promises are given more freely, and believing them is easier. When we feel invincible and timeless and unconquerable. When it's easier to allow ourselves to feel and the thoughts in our heads may be as confusing, but not as cluttered or easily forgotten. When the little joys are more important than the end goals. When love is the only important thing in the world.